14 Sarcastic Whispers About Valentine's Day

By: Emelie Anggoy on Monday, February 6, 2017 | 14



Behold it is Valentine's Season!

There are so many things I can think of when I hear this V-Day word. Here, I will list down 14 sarcastic random whispers my brain gives that correlates with it. Watch out, these are perfectly tangled. Please don't get infected by it *wink*.

1. I am single and happy this Valentine's day because baby I am born this way.

2. Roses are red; violets are blue. It's Singles Awareness Day for me while Valentine's Day for you.

3. Give flowers to your mother; date your father; massage the back of your sister; double the allowance of your brother. Valentine's Day is solely for the family alone and nothing else!

4. Hey Cupid, will you please shoot brains and not hearts?

5. Please don't be sad this 14th. Just remember, nobody loves you on any of those other 364 days of the year.

6. I wonder if I should be happy or sad this 14th. I want to receive flowers and chocolates but for sure nobody will give me. Well, I will buy one for myself and really choose the best ones. Problem solved. On the other hand, I think it's okay to forget these fancy stuff. Afterall, I don't want a single dollar to jump out from my wallet.

7. I warn you not to wear red this Valentine's Day because I have an agreement with the president of the Republic. All bulls will have their rest day from work during the 14th. They will be roaming around in malls, streets, resorts and restaurants. Haha!

8. I am a zombie working my butt hard during night. I sleep 7:00 A.M. in the morning and wake up 3:00 P.M. in the afternoon. When I wake up, there's a notification on my phone and it's you! Thank you for secretly becoming my faraway Valentine by hearting one of my posts.

9. "Happy Valentine's Day!" May your status on Facebook will not change to 'complicated' after Valentines day.

10. How many frogs I need to kiss in order to find the one prince that's riding a horse?

11. Throw that away! Chocolates will give you diabetes and oh, it loves hiding in your belly. You don't want belly fats, do you?

12. Please accept the truth that if your X-ray is good looking compared to your photo, you may find it a little hard to have a date this Valentine's day.

13. It will be a really good idea if Valentine's day is a Second-Holloween-Day. Do you agree?

14. To all doctors and nurses, you will have an overtime this coming November. A lot of babies are coming to Earth.


Congratulations to those who have their special someone during this love month. Make sure to lock each other's hearts in a happy and safe place. Else, you don't want a broken heart at the end, do you? Man, I tell you it's not easy and you will look stupid. Healing process will take you months or even years.

And for those who are independent singles, well, let's continue living our lives each day as if it's the last day! Hopefully our phone and laptop batteries will last long enough as we expected them to be.

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